All In

It's only a few more weeks until East. I am getting that nervous feeling of not having things done in time, but I would get that feeling no matter how much I had done. I notice that I have been having some sort of weird creative block lately. When you begin to feel behind, you (or is it just me?) tend to push things rather than let them come to you. I imagine that sentence could only make sense to some. I find it hard to articulate what I feel when I am having a sort of creative crisis. I guess that would make sense, though, huh?

It is like my brain is trying to do too many things at once and I am not capable of putting it on paper. That really sucks, but it happens. This is probably the same old song with all artists and may be a bore to read about, but, as always, it helps to write about it.

I still feel the need to express what I have discussed in previous posts, but it is almost as if every mark I make is forced and awful. I erase, erase, erase, erase .... and then erase some more. Today, however, I woke up telling myself, "Don't you erase a single thing today. Enhance it. Make it yours." And I did. I didn't take start over and over and over again. I just let myself finish the idea. I mean, it's not finished yet, but it's coming along nicely. You just have to take a breath for a moment and feel what you're doing.

Before I end this brief entry, I will share with you the idea behind this particular piece I am discussing. When I say that I want to do a tarot deck, it definitely does add to the list of the million projects I have envisioned. On the other hand, it is totally doable if I have one going all the time - even in between other things. Is that a bad idea? I don't know. Maybe. I want to do it anyway, so I started with "The Moon". I haven't drawn in all the components, so it is definitely still a work in progress. It may not look like much now, but here are some progress photos.

See, now, I have only written a few paragraphs and I already feel better about my direction. Always stay focused. Even if it frustrates the shit out of you.

Then, smile because you're making art.

Lyla of the Leaves

Lyla of the Leaves

Lyla of the leaves, 

dance as you please.
Hang from the branches

and twirl around the trees.

Pirouette with the bees -

But don't be late for your afternoon tea.

Here's To Not Giving Up

Sometimes I feel as if I am being a defeatist. I have a thought in my mind that since nothing is happening as rapidly as I would like, then I must be failing at this artist thing. Then, I dust myself off - albeit sometimes at a slower pace than I would like - and get focused again. I feel good again. Resilient.

It is a career and life path that comes with obstacles and often penniless times. However, there are also these small, but precious moments of satisfaction that your work has affected someone. Perhaps not emotionally, but in some way it has. Although at times when I find myself in depths of defeat, and maybe even a bit hopeless, the small triumphant gems are tremendously fulfilling and make all the struggle worth it - money or not. Those are moments when you know that you are doing what you love and that no matter how slow, you are doing something right.

Have I gotten too sappy? Well, it's been another strange week, but when is it not? Ha!

Annnnd moving on.

On this joyous Friday, I bring you my newest character that is also in line to completed soon. She is without a name at the moment, but both my pajamaed man and this sweet little lass will be revealed as final drawings rather soon.

Sleepy Super Sunday

Perfect day for rain. Well, it's always a perfect day for rain for me, but today was even better. I'll tell you why.

Welp, so, I have failed to mention this so far, but I have been hired by an author to illustrate the covers for her upcoming book series. It's my first job doing book illustrations of any sort, so it is extra exciting for me. I have always wanted to work with books. Illustrating them or writing them. Or both.

So, aside from spending small portion of the day getting things done - like grocery shopping and the like - I've been scanning some sketchbook pages and working on ideas for the book cover. I won't share any of the cover ideas quite yet because I'd like to keep that between the author and I for now. 

I also joined the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators yesterday afternoon, so that is pretty damn cool to me considering I really need to make connections with others and need to gain more knowledge about the industry (aside from reading their book). 

Upon becoming a member of SCBWI, I decided to go ahead and apply for an illustration grant that would help me fund sending examples of my work to publishers. I've been talking about doing this forever it seems, but I need to stop procrastinating and just take the plunge. What's the worst thing that could happen? They say no or nothing at all. Then, on to the next, right? The only other thing that has been holding me back is the money to produce packets to send them - and yes, most publishers I have read about only accept these things by snail mail. Today was the first day to be able to apply for the grant and I didn't waste a second. Again, the worst thing that could happen is that I get turned down, but ohhhh man, the money from the grant would surely help - tremendously.

I've been rambling on and on, but the point is, is um ... well, none I guess. Just a perfect rainy day.

And now, since this blog is also for drawings, I'll end this with some random, freshly scanned sketchbook pages. 

Character idea I had for a book. I may revisit this one day.