Student Interview

Recently, a student asked me to answer some questions for her class about being a local artist here in Austin. I thought I'd share the questions and answers. It was fun!

1. What is it like being an artist in Austin, where is there an abundance of great artists? Do they inspire you or create competition? I have been in Austin for a little over ten years and was a very shy person at first. I didn't really share with many that I loved art and that I have been drawing ever since I was little. I was afraid of the judgement, or critique, rather. However, being here has introduced to me many creative and wonderful people that have inspired me along the way to really embrace being who I am. Being an artist here has really been life changing. 

I am not sure if there is a right or wrong to answer the question of where to go about finding an abundance of great artists. I say this because, really, they're all around! We live in a city of artists of many mediums and I find them all to be incredibly inspiring. I don't think of competition when I meet any artists - quite the opposite, actually. They're a part of your community as an artist and you can benefit from learning from them and vise-versa. Networking and being present amongst the art community is an important aspect of being an artist. 

2. How did you first begin to develop your style? I have always been inspired by old fairy tale illustrations and ornate book covers. I have a love for drawing and line that was able to be expressed when I learned intaglio printmaking. More specifically, engraving. There is a beauty to the feel of pushing a tool through metal to create fine, undulating lines that is reminiscent old illustrated fairy tales. Indeed, many old illustrations were created by either etching or engraving. Although I have not engraved or etched in a while - whether it be ink or pencil -I still create work that is inspired by the line quality of intalgio. 

As far as content goes, I grew up watching an abundance of Jim Henson and horror movies. As a child, I gravitated to the dark, fantastical allegorical tales of the Brothers Grimm. There is a strong belief by both Maurice Sendak and Jim Henson (and many others like, Edward Gorey) that children should not shielded from macabre or horror in writing or art. It is a forever present fact of life. Why sugar-coat it? The Brother's Grimm stories are a good example of this. To end my mini rant, I can just say that I am happy that these images and stories weren't hidden from me as a child because of their deep impact on how I work and dream.

3. Where did you find your artistic voice? Hm, that's a tough one. Although one feels that they've had their artistic voice since day one of life, I can delve deeper and say that printmaking had a lot to do with it. I was in a place of being unsure if what I did was considered art. I went through many periods of having people tell me what I did wasn't art. Hearing that at the time was a bit shattering to me until I took a printmaking class. There was something all-encompassing about the print community that shook me out of feeling alienated. Defining art is such a broad and bumpy road sometimes; it is, in a way, in a constant state of change with no bounds. You have to remember to let whatever is coming out of you be your own voice, and not what everyone else says it should be. It took a medium to coax it out of me.

4. What inspires you? What does your art mean to you? I am inspired daily by many things! I may go on a tangent here and list many things! However, to be more specific, as mentioned in a previous answer, oddities, old books - even the smell of old books, nightmares, old ghost stories, children's books, a crackly record playing in the background, The Twilight Zone, nursery rhymes, cold weather, old scientific illustration ... so many things. More importantly, David Bowie (the many phases of him) and Jim Henson were a huge inspiration growing up. They still are.

I feel that without my art, I'd be even more of a socially awkward person. It frees my brain of my beautiful chaos and overflow of dreamy nonsense. I get to channel all these things into characters, worlds and little narratives. 

5. What element of your art do you feel is most important? Line. Line is king to me. There is nothing more entrancing when making (and looking) at art than lines done "right". The variations of widths, lengths and curves is very alluring to me. You can feel a sense of energy with line work. It can be really powerful.

Post East Austin Studio Tour Update!

I will start out by say that my first experience participating in the East Austin Studio Tour was absolutely wonderful. I was nervous as hell but it was well worth it. Having that volume of people see your work is both nerve wracking, yet rewarding. It was a good crowd.

Some work from my area of the studio

More from my little slice!

Neeka Allsup's mesmerizing wall.

Allison Geneser's gorgeous wall.

I finished every single work in progress that I had going, including the illustrations for the story written by Neeka Allsup, The Bear and His Catch.  Neeka and I framed them with the text as a preview during the second weekend of East. I feel we generated good reactions and feedback. I am excited to have it printed in the near future. Stay tuned for more information on that!

So, this is the first time in - well, I don't know how long - that I can start something without having a piece lingering in the background. I can start fresh. New. Take a breath. Try a few things. A different medium even. I would really like to give oil painting a chance again, and there is no time better than now, right?

All In

It's only a few more weeks until East. I am getting that nervous feeling of not having things done in time, but I would get that feeling no matter how much I had done. I notice that I have been having some sort of weird creative block lately. When you begin to feel behind, you (or is it just me?) tend to push things rather than let them come to you. I imagine that sentence could only make sense to some. I find it hard to articulate what I feel when I am having a sort of creative crisis. I guess that would make sense, though, huh?

It is like my brain is trying to do too many things at once and I am not capable of putting it on paper. That really sucks, but it happens. This is probably the same old song with all artists and may be a bore to read about, but, as always, it helps to write about it.

I still feel the need to express what I have discussed in previous posts, but it is almost as if every mark I make is forced and awful. I erase, erase, erase, erase .... and then erase some more. Today, however, I woke up telling myself, "Don't you erase a single thing today. Enhance it. Make it yours." And I did. I didn't take start over and over and over again. I just let myself finish the idea. I mean, it's not finished yet, but it's coming along nicely. You just have to take a breath for a moment and feel what you're doing.

Before I end this brief entry, I will share with you the idea behind this particular piece I am discussing. When I say that I want to do a tarot deck, it definitely does add to the list of the million projects I have envisioned. On the other hand, it is totally doable if I have one going all the time - even in between other things. Is that a bad idea? I don't know. Maybe. I want to do it anyway, so I started with "The Moon". I haven't drawn in all the components, so it is definitely still a work in progress. It may not look like much now, but here are some progress photos.

See, now, I have only written a few paragraphs and I already feel better about my direction. Always stay focused. Even if it frustrates the shit out of you.

Then, smile because you're making art.

Focus and Variety

Time ticks and the hours collect in your pocket as a reminder to get work done. You take them out, you count them and you see how much has been wasted instead of spent making art. Hey, that's life and life happens, right? You have grab those hours ahead and store them in your bank to cash out for what you love. Precious time. Art = time. Time = art. What? Yep. Curse you, pain meds!

Pain medication nonsense aside. Time is always something I think and talk about. I have always thought the one thing I would really, really miss when I die is making art and that still rings true. I don't necessarily think about death all the time, but I do think about conquering all the ideas and creating all the wonderful lines that I can, when I can. I spent a good chunk of last week drawing and jotting down ideas and I loved every minute of it. This week has been sort of a miss for me since I have been sulking in bed recovering from dental surgery. However, I am determined to do some mark-making even if it comes out completely awful. And yeah, again, I am on some pain medication, so I don't expect to make anything spectacular, but that's okay.

I have come so close to finishing the drawing I had shown in my previous post and have even started a few others. I didn't get a chance to take great photos of them, but they're still in the works anyway. So, so close to being done with the twins, though! Adding more ink, pastels and a few more details and it's off to being framed after that.

I have been told a couple times that maybe I should stop making so many masked/beaked figures, but I say nope. I will stop making them when they stop coming to me. "Aren't you afraid of all your work looking the same for a while?" Well, no, not really. Not only do I enjoy my time when I make the art that I want, but I also enjoy being able to think more expansively about the "theme" or "symbols" (for lack of better words) that I have in me during a certain period of time. I want to explore my work in graphite more, so I am. I want to dig deeper into the imagery that I have used quite a bit in my life, so I am. I want to explore the way the body moves, contorts and the ways in which I can exaggerate and distort it, so I am. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. So I am.

For me, building on my work lends to change on its own. Art does that. It naturally changes and flexes not only within influences of your outside world and art around you but also with your psyche. Sometimes, yes, I do think to myself, "oh, I will do a series of such and such" but that does not mean it did not come to me in a natural sort of way or sprouted from an existing idea. When I force myself to change the way I do things or force an idea that's not in me, then it usually turns to shit anyway. Moral of this story? It's not a bad thing to work in a series or to explore an idea(s) - it is not repetitive. It allows me to investigate and explore something in a variety of perspectives. This is sort of related to what I wrote about in the previous post, but it is an ongoing thought within me ... and probably most artists. 

So, once again, here is this guy. He's been redone a few times. I can't stop thinking of this image and became sort of obsessed to get it the way I want it. I think I am liking this version more than any others. He always seemed so regal, so the wreath framing and the crown seems fitting. I also noticed that the shading and the shape of the flowers on the wreath are reminiscent of the hair on the twin piece. Maybe I needed to complete that piece before this came to me? I don't know really, but I like where it's going. I want to write a little story about him. 

As for this doodle here in my sketchbook, this is an idea that happened at the most wonderful time. Quiet time. As you can kind of tell, I was in bed. Sitting and drawing in sweet silence after a lovely hot bath. It was awesome. My mind was at ease and the thoughts flowed like smooth waves from my fingers through my pencil. Magic. This is what I intend to do this evening while I am posted up in bed. I can't speak, but my hands can. 

Have a happy Saturday, all. 

Inside and Outside

Hello, friends. I thought I'd take some time to have a little looksie into what has been going on in my art world lately. Seeing how it's been rather difficult for me to keep up on the happenings, I may skip around a bit. Let's see ....

 Oh, hey! Look! It's a photo of Nudge Collective's studio. I am not the best at using the panorama feature on my phone, but it'll do for now. It's such a great space (Canopy in Austin, TX), and I have enjoyed my time when I work there. It is quite a different experience working from your home and working in your own studio. I feel as if I get a whole lot more done without all the distractions that being at home can have. There's no, "Hm, I should clean this or rearrange that." or "I'm just going to read this for a few minutes and thennn I will get to work!" None of that. I am happy to be a part of this space. I feel productive and inspired by the wonderful women with whom I share it with.

I really wanted to share more about the book Neeka and I are working on, but I have decided that I want to save that for much later when we're closer to finishing. We are getting so incredibly close!

I have been working on some personal work as well. I have had a recent fascination with the idea of twins or mirror-like images and, of course, masks. The idea behind the masked or beaked creatures are usually an aesthetic of which to hide behind, or social anxiety, rather. In a way - well, in many ways - it is about me and my personal struggles and triumphs within (the piece in progress below would represent the struggle). The twins, however, are somewhat representational to the battle of certain aspects of myself. Alike, but subtly different. Dualities. For lack of better words, they are perhaps seeking a balance of my introverted self and a social/extraverted self. This may seem a bit cliché, but the drawings flow rather naturally and usually without the conscious intention to make such statements. As art usually does, it just happens, and you look inside yourself to see and make sense of why. I find myself doing this more and more than I used to. By doing this, I feel more at ease with myself and therefore, more infused with creative juices. I suppose you could say ... my cup runneth over?

The most recent twin piece that I finished felt more triumphant. The beaked creatures face one another. Eye-to-eye. Feathers afloat. Yet, still awkward and strange. Happily acknowledging the imperfections, as if to fly with them. Hence, the title, As A Bird.

As a Bird, Graphite and Ink, 2015

The more I have thought about my work, even the child-like illustrations have ties to the idea of the battle of living inwards and outwards. I feel that this is something most of us face and is nothing new, but it is important to the individual. It always is. Digging deeper inside of one's self is always important, and often times, we fight some sort of inner battle. No matter how common something is to think and feel, it is a part of the individual being. It is to experience life. That being said, one side is not necessarily better than the other. The anxiety will happen. Some good, some bad. To me, transcending that anxiety into art is the key. Sometimes, as an artist, you are giving yourself therapy without even knowing it. Or perhaps it is always that way and it is only sometimes that we are cognizant of it.

Whatever it is that I am trying to say on my little tangent here, I know that art places me in touch with concentrated doses of missing intrinsic qualities of self and mind. It sets and restores a balance. 

And there you have it. 

Good night, friends!

Night Rant

With my body feeling as tired as ever and my mind racing faster than I keep up with, I felt inspired to write an entry. And hey, as usual, it has been a while. I am terrible at keeping up with this lately, but life tends to get a bit whirly. It happens.

I cannot possibly note all that I have to tell this evening due to my weary eyes, but I will do my best to talk about all things (and people) amazing, beautiful, strange, awesome ... well, art.

As noted in the previous entry, I have some wonderful ladies in my life whom I currently share a studio with. Have I mentioned the studio? If I haven't, it's a great space. More on that later - most likely in another post when I feel more collected.

Current projects include the book Neeka Allsup and I are still working on (and that I am still very, very excited about), work for the East Austin Studio Tour, and hopefully, if time allows, some things for the Blue Genie Art Bazaar which occurs each year around the holidays. I am overwhelmed in a wonderful way. I love it. If I could do art nonstop, I would. However, there is a balance I need to remind myself to keep. Work, life and art. Art is life. Life is art. Am I making sense? Probably not. I feel very absent-minded today. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read for a while until I drift off into a nice, solid slumber. Wake. Feel clear.

Sleep and all around rest tends to slip away when I need it the most, but teaching one's self to delegate time in a way that brings a bit of equilibrium is something I am working on. I have always had a hard time doing this, but the fact that I recognize this feels as if I am headed in the right direction.

If it appears as if I am complaining, I am not. I am only ranting freely. I really have some beautiful people in my life right now who make every second of the madness worth it. I only wish I could keep up with everyone at the moment. It will happen. I am in a good place and my never ending faith in art consumes my brain with happy thoughts and extraordinarily wonderful feelings. I may feel exhausted a lot, but I feel whole. I feel happy.

Next time, I will share all things and art in-progress and less tired nonsense. If I have missed any typos or made a lot of strange sentences ... well, you get it.

Good night, all.

The Bear and His Catch

 I haven't been able to update for a while, but I can say I have a good excuse or two. Recently, I have had the pleasure of reuniting with a friend and meeting new ones. So many awesome things are taking place and I could not be happier at the moment.

One of the people I have met is also a fellow artist and writer, Neeka Allsup (http://neekaallsup.com/home.html). Her brain has very similar workings of mine, and it has been fantastic to work with her on a current book project I am going to share a little bit about with you all titled, The Bear and His Catch.

I used to be really hesitant on collaborating with others. I felt that I would clash too much with someone else's vision or maybe even just the way they went about it. This isn't an alien feeling, though. I think many of us feel this way. On the other hand, when you find someone who meshes well with you, it is well worth diving in and taking the opportunity. I feel very lucky to have made such a connection and I can say that it has been a really enjoyable experience.

Her story is a beautifully haunting allegorical tale that I feel explores emotional dualities and the nature of ownership. It is so wonderfully written and multidimensional that it is relatable not only for children, but readers of all ages. What is love and what is abuse? It would seem as though this is an easy question to answer, but often it isn't. It can be verbal, psychological, emotional, physical and so forth. What is addressed in this story, is that we can all become enraptured in the stronghold of something disguised as love and endure harmful relationships. It is, however, important to begin to distinguish the two and recognize our self-worth and intrinsic value as an individual. Although easier said than done in some cases, it is equally important to draw the line and cut ties with such toxic associations. I think that her story is an excellent parable of those relationships - knowing and recognizing the nature of abuse and walking away. Like many great stories, it holds a moral and lesson that one can only discern through their personal experiences and relationships. It will surely be a treasure to have once it is completed.

It has been really wonderful to work alongside Neeka, and I cannot wait to share more as this project comes to a close in the future. Please refer to the link above to see her work. You definitely will not regret it :)

And now, I leave you with a sneak peek at the progress of one of the pages we have worked on: