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Saturday, May 23, 2015

Self-Doubt and The Pursuit of Art (or something like that)

It's been a while since I first had the thought to send my work to a publisher. On Tuesday, I will finally be sending my first packet off to one. I have sent many to publishers that accept portfolios via email, (of which there aren't many of) but this would be my first time to send a packet out. I can't say that I am not nervous, but really, (besides a bit of cash from the prints) what have I got to lose? Again, worst case scenario is that I either hear nothing and/or get turned down. 

I read this short article the other day from Juxtapoz Magazine's site by Michael Sieben that came along at the most perfect time. Not that long ago, I was having the thoughts of "I need a "real" job." and, "I'm not making any money and no one cares about my art, so what's the point?" And so on. But the truth of the matter is, is that those thoughts are bullshit. I am an artist. I cannot think of anything else that I would ever want to do. Sure, I'll work a part-time gig to keep me afloat, but I will never just quit being an artist. Honestly, that'd be pretty impossible. My pencils and inks are like my right arm. My heart. My soul. All of me. Come to think of it, those fleeting, yet defeatist-type of thoughts are just silly now. 

I think that perhaps my age was getting to me. Being 31 and feeling a bit like a late bloomer in life. Looking around to see your peers having their careers and whatnot. All that "grass is greener" nonsense. It all sort of gets to you when you're feeling a little down and out. It can sometimes jeopardize your goals when you let it take hold of you. Anxieties fly high and then, poof! - you're thinking of quitting. Let me tell you something. It takes too much out of you to bring yourself out of that type of funk. I can say pretty confidently that I am out of that mindset, but man, it was not a fun experience. 

Moving along to my point (if I have one). There are some notable quotes from Sieben's article that I'd like to share. 

"Now, I know that feedback probably sounds almost dismissive and/or naive. And I know that the underlying question is more, "How do I make money as an artist?" But the answer remains the same. If you're going to be a player in the art game, at some point, you have to realize that there's no coach." Yep. So true. No matter how much advice I get from other artists (of whom have been very helpful), the ultimate truth is that every artist's career path is different. How they got there and all. No one is going to hold your hand and point the way. You just have to make your own way. You have to survive getting rejected. You have to take some risks. You get the idea, and may be thinking that this is nothing new. It's not anything new, but it is new if you don't apply these things in real life. You can hear all the advice in the world, but nothing comes from it if you store it and let it fade.

"You're going to have to do a lot of unpaid work before somebody hires you for a paying gig. That being said, when you honestly feel like your apprenticeship is over and your dues have been paid, you're most likely still going to have to (metaphorically) pull yourself up by your bootstraps in order to get noticed. If no galleries want to represent you, stage your own art shows to get your work in front of people." I feel like this is where I am at. I mean, I cannot say if anyone else would consider my dues paid, but there's no better time than now to start pursuing what I want more aggressively. Let go of those anxieties and uncertainties. Just go with it, but lead the way.

"Self publish, self promote, self start - if you sit around and wait for somebody to start your career, you're going to be waiting for a long time. Like, till you're dead, dude." Not much to elaborate on here. It's just plain true. I could have probably been doing much more with art by now had I not been waiting for the internet world to save me. Don't get me wrong - the internet is a powerful tool and putting your work on the web is great. I definitely do it. However, that alone (for most of us at least) just won't cut it. You're going to have to really take charge on your own. Go out and mingle with your art community. Be around like-minded people. Network face-to-face. Be present outside of your comfort zone. No one else is going to to go out of their way to move your career along but you. 

"Every successful artist or commercial artist that I know has a backstory that entails a lot of penniless years with blind faith as their prevailing guide. The only common denominator is relentless perseverance and optimism. So if you want to know where to start, the only real answer is not stopping." Penniless years - yep, still there! Blind faith - check! Relentless perseverance and optimism - well, I can't say that my optimism has been on par all the time, but lately, I can say it has. You have to count every good moment, no matter how big or small, as a victory. If you think of them as nothing because you're not "there" yet, then, believe me, it gets really rough. Lastly, perseverance. Yep. Keep going. I cannot really elaborate much on that. That's it. Don't stop. Draw or paint or whatever it is you love - do it every single day. Aggressively. 

I am not just taking and/or dishing out this advice. I am living it. I am doing it. I am sending my work to my first "big" publisher with skin as thick as ever. I am saying "yes" to things I would have shied away from previously. I am putting myself out there. Rejection? Yeah, I have gotten it more times than I can count. What other people are doing with their lives? I am happy they're doing what they do, but it's not my concern. And age? I don't care about that so much anymore either. Was my so-called "falling out" a good learning experience? Was it eye-opening? Sure it was. Would I recommend going through that? Maybe? I don't know. I suppose it depends on what it takes to know what and who you are. 

Now, what I can recommend, is this article by Michael Sieben. Although I have quoted a good chunk of it, it's worth a read. 




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